So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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