Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
