Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
