Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Randomize
