I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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