i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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