chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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