But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i think i have two assholes
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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