so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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