You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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