Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
