Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
