When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
