No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
