Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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