We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
