How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
honey bunches of taint.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
