Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
