Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Randomize
