you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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