I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize