i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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