I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
