you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize