I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
