o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
