I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Your cock deserves a montage
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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