if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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