So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize