dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
