After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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