Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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