i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
