Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
