Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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