Dual....:-)
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
And the cops told us we were all naked.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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