SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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