I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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