thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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