pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
