So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Just puked most of my soul out..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
