Don't make out with my wife yet
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
