Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
