Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
