My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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