i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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