He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize