out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So much rum. So many feels.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize