dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
