I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize