I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
