That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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