I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Ladies don't puke and tell
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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