Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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