dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
