I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
