is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it hurts more in the daytime
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
