Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
