that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize