no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
