I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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