you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
