You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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