lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
