Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
