dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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