One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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