oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
