so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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