i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She bit a glass in half.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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