I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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