Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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