I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
