How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
