Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
