im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
