Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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