Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
