So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You dont lie about slip and slides
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
