Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
