Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
