YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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