bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
