i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
