What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize