I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I need to stop coming to work sober
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
