Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Randomize
